Mile-long Ethernet

I dunno why I always get these idiots, bad Karma I guess.

Semi-regular comes in, heads for the networking aisle.

MayIHelpooo?

I need a Wireless G.

*What the fuck...???* OK, a wireless g router, or adapter, or...?

Just a Wireless G.

*This idiot doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.* Ummm...I don't actually have a product called just "Wireless G", that's a standard for wireless networking.

Naw, naw...it's something that you use to run the Internet over long distances. You got your router over here, and you run about a mile of Ethernet under ground, then you put in a Wireless G, and it can run another mile, and so on.

*YOU FUCKING IDIOT, HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF RESEARCH? IT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE OF WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!* Ummm...actually the maximum cable length for Ethernet is 100 meters, or 328 feet. That's quite a bit less than a mile.

Naw, naw...I've seen this before, jus lemme look at what you got here, I'll find it.

OK, thanks for coming in.

(A few minutes later, I'm in that aisle again, and he's leaving.)

Find anything like what you wanted?

Nope.

Well, good luck! *You brain dead, clueless, know-it-all!*

What would it hurt?

This is from last year, when there was a state-wide Tax Free day.

We knew we were going to be covered up in customers, and had barricaded the dept. so that no one could get in without coming through the line. They could come in to "BUY" and would have a salesperson assigned to them, or they could come in to "LOOK" without a salesperson...BUT if they were a "LOOKER" they would not be served in any way unless they went back to the line and asked for an associate. There was a manager at the head of the line to enforce the rules.

So now it begins...

I've been working with this one wonderful lady for 15 minutes or so on a big sale, and we're looking at routers, when this "LOOKER" couple walk up.

Excuse me...

*I ignore him, since I'm in the middle of a sentence to my customer.*

*Taps me on the shoulder.* Excuse me!

Yes, sir?

Could you tell us about this router?

*I look around for their associate, don't see anyone who isn't already with a "BUYER". I can't believe this asshole has the balls to interrupt me in mid-sentence, much less wants me to stop helping my customer and talk to him. How rude!!*

I'm sorry, I have a customer right now. When you came into the department, the manager at the head of the line told you that we were only serving customers who were buying. We'll be happy to pair you up with an associate if you'll just go back to the manager at the line and ask.

I want to buy, what would it hurt for you to help us?

*I'm in "mild aggression" mode now.*

Well, sir, the first thing it would hurt is that you are taking time away from this nice lady, whom I have been helping for the last 15 minutes. I cannot just ignore her and stop to help you. The second thing that it would hurt is that you are asking me to break a rule that we were all strongly cautioned not to break by our manager, and I would get in trouble.

But your manager is not here, what would it hurt?

*Turning it up to "moderate aggression".*

My manager is here. That's him at the head of the line, and I promise you, he's watching every one of us to make sure that we perform as instructed.

(All this time, my wonderful customer is waiting patiently with a slightly amused look on her face.)

*This dickhead decides to make it personal now, by looking at my name-tag."

Lo-fat, you are the one wasting her time. If you would just tell me what I want to know, we will be done here.

*Turning it up to "Strong Aggression", only one notch left!*

That's not going to happen! I'm finishing my sale with this lady. If you give me any more trouble I'll have you escorted from the store!

You should be more polite with customers.

*That's it. I crank that Aggression switch so hard I go past the last notch, and into "Fuck you up" mode.*

I should be more polite? You're the rudest person I've ever met in this store! You can't just walk in on a day like today and expect everyone to drop what they're doing to answer your trivial questions! I told you not to give me anymore trouble...

*I call my manager on the radio. He comes over, takes my side 100%, and calls security to escort this idiot from the store!*

SCORE!!!!!