This guy comes into the dept. wearing a flannel shirt, dress pants, sneakers, suspenders, greasy hair, a week's growth of beard, and glasses with an elastic band so he won't lose them. My sensors are on high alert just from seeing him.
MyIHelpooo?
I'm looking for some sort of software that can block certain types of websites.
*Ok, maybe this won't be so bad, I'll sell him some sort of "Internet Security" stuff with a firewall, or educate him on how to use Parental Controls.*
Sure, we have lots of software that can do that, it's right over here.
*Looking at features of a particular title* Can I change the settings after I've saved them?
Yes, you would just have to save them again. *Where's this going?*
Ummm, that's no good. I want something that once it's set, no one can change it.
*Still puzzled.* Okay, there's Parental Controls. The user would have to have an Administrator's password to change the settings on that. *I explain how it works and what it can block.*
That may work, but there's still the matter of the password. I'm the Administrator on the computer, and I'm the person I want to block from certain websites. *Looks down, says sheepishly* I have a problem with porn.
*Note to self, DO NOT SHAKE HANDS, WASH HANDS IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE LEAVES.*
Hmmmm...I see. Is there a friend or relative that you would trust to set the password? That way you wouldn't know what it was? Our techs could also do that for you, but they would charge for it.
No, I wouldn't want to tell them. I'd be too embarrassed.
*Ok, you're too embarrassed to confess your problem to a friend or relative, so you've come into my dept. to confess it to me, a total stranger???*
*I think for a few seconds...* Sir, unless you can figure out how to get a password set that you don't know, my best advice to you is to stop using the Internet.
(sigh) Ok, thanks. *Leaves*
I head for the washroom with my hands in the air, like a surgeon who has just scrubbed up.
DON'T ANYONE TOUCH ME UNTIL I WASH...SEVERAL TIMES!!!
