False Advertising

First, do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass it is for a big company to have to fight a False Advertising claim in court? They DO NOT want to have to do that for lots of reasons. So how do they avoid it? Lawyers, dummy! The lawyers investigate and research every single phrase of advertising and make sure it's not misleading.
Just so you can decide for yourself, here's a link to the legal definition of False Advertising.

Now...both of these stories actually happened this week. And the kicker is that the item in reference in both cases comes from a MAJOR software company, not our store.

1. Idiot Customer is looking at a laptop. Laptop has a price tag that tells what processor, ram, HDD size, etc. Tag also says, "(VERY popular productivity suite software) pre-loaded".
Idiot Customer says, "This laptop comes with (VERY popular productivity suite software) already installed?"
"It comes with a trial edition that runs for 60 days. If you want to unlock the trial so it will run forever you have to purchase a product activation key for $99.99."
*I can see the wheels turning in Idiot Customer's head, they're rusty.*
"That's false advertising!"
"What part of it do you think is misleading?"
"Where it says the software is pre-loaded. It implies that the full version is installed and registered."
"Sir, you are reading that into what it says. It doesn't say what version of the software is there, it just says it's there. That's not false."
"I'm going to report your store for false advertising!"
"I won't try to stop you, but I will suggest that you think just a little more about this. These computers are manufactured in China. All computers are manufactured in China these days. The computer company has a contract with (VERY popular productivity suite software manufacturer), who provides the software to them and instructs them how to install it. Now, if you want to complain about how the software is installed and how it's advertised, your issue is with (VERY popular productivity suite software manufacturer) or the computer manufacturer, not us. And, if you think they don't have a HUGE team of lawyers who check these kinds of things in advance, just so they can avoid issues like False Advertising, you are sorely mistaken. Even if you DO want to involve our store in this, we also have a HUGE team of corporate lawyers."
Idiot Customer walks away, grumbling. SCORE!!!! Another IDIOT bites the dust!

2. Old Idiot Customer is looking at display of the very same (VERY popular productivity suite software) as in case 1. This display is the product activation keys for the basic version and the slightly better version. The display has 2 price tags on it. 1 is for the basic version $119.99, the other is the slightly better version $199.99. There is also some info on the display that says, "Also available: 3 license version on disc." with some more text to describe what comes on the disc.
"May I help you?"
"I'm returning a copy of this stuff. I need the slightly better version."
I hand him a key card of the slightly better version. "Here's what you need."
"How much is that?"
"It's $199.99 off the shelf, $179.99 when purchased with a computer."
"How many computers can I install it on?"
"Just one."
Points to info about 3 license version.
"It says here I can install it on 3 computers."
"That's the disc version."
"I want the disc version."
I go get a disc for him.
"Here ya go."
"How much is this?"
"$279.99"
"It says here it's $199.99"
"No, that's the key card version."
"That's false advertising!"
He puts down the disc and heads for the front of the store.
Few minutes later I get paged to customer service.
Right, it's him. He's badgering the CSR about false advertising.
I have the display with me. I point out to him that it says "Also available...", and I rip open one of the key cards to show him there's no disc inside.
That shuts him up. SCORE!!!
CSR refunds his money after another 5 minutes of him berating her and the store.

So...in case 1 the customer thought too much and read in something that wasn't there.
In case 2 the old bastard just couldn't read...period.

Both of these customers are....drum roll....IDIOTS!!
I guess we're gonna have to start giving fucking IQ tests before we allow people into the department.