"Hi, I bought a desktop computer from you last week, remember?"
*WHAT? I didn't even say my name!* "Ummm...sorry, I don't recognize the voice."
"OK, anyway...I've got this thing put together and I can't figure out how to turn it on."
"Oh! Now I remember...you're the guy who said he builds computers and works on them all the time."
"Right, right!"
"And you're having trouble turning your computer on?" *You MORON!*
"Right, where's the switch?"
*Patience, pretend he's a child* "Look on the front of the computer, near the top. There's the Power logo, the circle with a bar coming out the top. See it?"
"No...oh wait, near the TOP, you said."
*Oh My God! He thinks the power switch might be near the BOTTOM of the tower!*
"Yes, near the top."
"OK!!! Found it. What now?"
*Jesus! You need instruction from this point?*
"That's the power switch. Press and release it once, and the computer should start up. The switch should light up."
"OK, ...YES, it's working!" "One more question."
"OK..."
"I need to download some software. How do I open the CD drive?"
*Download...Oh, he means 'install' some software. I guess it stands to reason if he couldn't figure out how to turn on the computer, then he won't know how to open the DVD drive. Sigh....*
"Look about 2 to 3 inches below the power switch, you should see the "Eject" logo, a little house with a line underneath it. Press the button below that."
*Remember now, this is the guy who told me he builds and works on computers all the time!!*
*He hunts around for a few seconds and finally finds it.*
"Ok, I found it. Hey, do you think I should use some kind of anti-virus?"
(...pause...)
"Ok, I found it. Hey, do you think I should use some kind of anti-virus?"
(...pause...)
"Did you find it...sir...are you there?"
"Yes, I'm here, can you hear me?"
"Sir, are you still there?"
"YES, I'M HERE!!"
"Hey, Akmed, this phone is acting up again, I just got disconnected."
I hang up. ;-)
