(Some people want a discount just for the sake of getting a discount. They could afford the product at list price, they just want to brag to their friends that they "Never pay list, always get a discount."
Well, we don't negotiate our prices...ever...for anybody...for any reason...no matter what.)
"May I help you?"
"I want this computer, but the price is too high."
"OK, I have another brand here that is a little less expensive, what about this one?"
"Nope, I want this one. Do you give a Military discount?"
"Thanks for serving...sorry, we don't give a Military discount."
"What about a Student discount?"
"No, sorry."
"Is there a discount for paying cash?"
"No."
"Can I get it cheaper if I get your store credit card?"
"No."
"Is it going on sale any time soon?"
"We never know in advance about sale prices."
"OK, look...I'm not paying full price; you're overcharging for that computer. Is there any way I can get a discount?"
*If you were a pretty woman we might work something out, but you're an ugly old man* "Sorry sir, we don't negotiate prices and I don't have the authority to reduce the price on anything." *I said that on purpose, read on*
"Ah ha! You can't reduce the price, can your manager reduce the price?"
"Yes, sir. Would you like me to ask my manager to discount this computer for you?"
"Yes!"
"OK, I'll have to find him, it may take a few minutes. Please be patient."
"OK."
*I make my way to the break room, get a candy bar from the vending machine, and sit down. A minute or two later, my supervisor walks in.* "Hey Lo-fat, aren't you supposed to be on the floor right now?" "Sure am, boss." "Then what are you doing in here?" "Getting a discount for a customer." "Hahahaha, OK, buddy. No prob-lem-o."
*I finish my candy bar, walk back to the customer with a big smile on my face and give them the thumbs-up.*
"Sorry to keep you waiting, but I got you a nice discount. My manager said if you would buy this printer along with your computer he would authorize a $40 discount on the total price! That's a great deal, eh?"
"Hmmmm...I don't need a printer, but that's a nice discount...OK, let's do it!"
"Cool, right this way..."
*You stupid IDIOT! Your addiction to discounts cost you full price on the computer, and you paid us even more for a piece of shit printer that ALWAYS gets a $40 discount when purchased with a computer! Wait till you need ink for that piece of shit. The refills are $18 each, and there's 4 of 'em in there!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!*
