"May I help you?"
"I want to connect my computer to my TV."
*I say to myself, "Oh crap, here we go again.* "OK, what kind of video output does your computer have?"
"I don't know."
*You IDIOT...did you not realize that you have to connect the output of the computer to the input of the TV?* "OK, does your computer have this port on it?" (I point to the VGA out on a nearby laptop.)
"I didn't get my computer here."
*You FUCKING IDIOT!* "It doesn't matter where you got your computer; does it have this port on it?"
"I don't know."
*Maybe we can look this idiot's computer up on the Internet.* "OK, do you know what make and model your computer is?"
"Yes, it's a Dell."
"OK, what model Dell?"
"I don't know."
*I'm considering suicide at this point.* "Well, there's not much I can do to help you if we can't figure out what kind of video output the computer has. You don't happen to have it with you do you?"
"Yes, it's in the car."
*I really need to start smoking again, this shit is driving me crazy!* "Well, if I could look at it, I can tell you what kind of video out it has."
"OK, I'll go get it."
Idiot returns with computer...
"OK, you have VGA out only. Does your TV have this same kind of port?" *I have a sinking feeling about what the answer is going to be.*
"I don't know." *Bingo! I was right!*
"Do you know what make and model TV you have?" *Again, I know what the answer is going to be.*
"Yes, it's an O.P.S." (O.P.S...??? Old Piece of Shit)
"OK, what model O.P.S.?"
"I don't know."
*Take a deep breath, go to your happy place.* "Let's go look at some TVs, maybe you'll see one like yours."
"I've already looked at your TVs, you don't have any like mine."
"None at all?"
"No, yours are all flat and skinny. *uh-oh, here it comes* Mine is in a fine oak cabinet, and has a record player and a radio in it also." (tube type TV)
"Uh...how old is your TV?"
"It's been working perfectly for 15 years!"
"Well, I'm sorry but TVs that old aren't going to have any video input on them. You won't be able to connect your computer to the TV."
"You don't know what you're talking about. I saw a cable on E-bay that the seller said would work just fine."
"OK, good luck with that." *Pardon me while I blow my brains out!*
