Arrow 7

MayI-hel-pooo?
Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me something about my car stereo?
*Ummm, I dunno...it sucks?* I'll try, what's the question?
When I puts a CD in, it say "Arrow 7".
Hmmm..., I've never heard of that message. Are you spelling that A-R-R-O-W 7?
Yes, A-R-R-O-W 7.
I'll have to ask the auto tech about that, be right back.

I go see the AT, he says, "It's 'Error 7', it means the laser's burned out. She can send it off for repair or replace the unit."

I go back to the idiot customer.
Ma'm, is it possible that it says "Error 7, E-R-R-O-R"?
Yeah, das right, 2 r-ahs.
*What...??? 2 r-ahs? What the fuck does that mean? It's the first letter that you've got wrong, not the number or "R-AHS". Never mind...*
The tech said the laser is burned out.....

First, she didn't know how to spell, then, she didn't know the difference between the word "Arrow" and the word "Error".

There's more than just the laser burned out here. (Thanx IngaOlgaHelga)

Random Thoughts on Customers

It's been a long day, and we've had to deal with many, many idiots.

I wouldn't call them stupid because that would be giving them too much credit.

They have no business owning anything more technical than a rock...and even that might be pushing it.

I would just like to take a moment to express my frustration and loathing for these people and attempt to find some way I might curse, hex or otherwise place some kind of supernatural pox upon the genitals of them and all they love. 

Unfortunately, my attempts to locate such services online have yielded very little. Or more specifically, black magic appears to require a credit card and it is difficult to have any confidence in a hex when it requires $9.99 per target.

So I will merely sit here and hope that my dark, roiling thoughts can somehow inspire some sort of tick or lice to migrate into their home en mass and turn its attention solely south of the border. 

Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest Great White. 

Blue Light

Swear to God, this happened today!

"May I helpew?"
"I need a Flash Drive."
"Right here, what  capacity?"
"Which one has a Blue Light?"
"Excuse Me?"
"I said, Which one has a Blue Light?"
"Is it that important?"
"Yes."
"Actually, I don't know.  I have this one, and it has an orange light."
"Hmmmmmm...does this one have a cap?"
"Yes."
"I'll take this one."

Analysis:  First, it was most important that it had a blue light.  Failing that, it was most important that it had a cap.  Price didn't figure in, capacity didn't figure in, only features.
Go figure.  Welcome to retail.

Cables we'll never have...maybe

I'm gonna go into business for myself and start making these bullshit cables. They won't work at all, but they sure will sell, 'cause we get requests for 'em almost every day.

The "Ethernet Splitter" - For idiots who are too cheap to buy a router. They have one Internet account at home, and want to put more than one computer online. Why it won't work - Ethernet has four pairs of wires: Transmit out, transmit in, receive out, receive in. Split that into 16 wires, put 2 computers on it, and the packets will get all mixed up.

The "VGA Splitter" - Same kinda thing here. They want to run the video from their computer to 2 monitors. VGA has timing, sync and color channels in those wires. Split that up and those signals are going to Hell. It takes a piece of hardware to do this right.

VGA to HDMI - They have a VGA output on their el cheapo laptop, and HDMI input on their Flat-screen TV. Why it won't work - HDMI is High-Definition video plus Audio, VGA is standard definition video, NO Audio.

USB Splitter - Supposedly for connecting 2 computers to 1 printer. Never seen or heard of this before I got into retail. Idiot...network the computers and share the printer.

USB to Red, White and Yellow RCA - He originally wanted to go from HDMI out on the computer to RCA in on the older TV, but when I convinced him that HDMI is digital, and the RCA plugs are analog, he switched to USB to RCA. Problem there is that USB never, Never, NEVER carries video. Total fail. Trust your salesperson.

USB to (anything and everything) - Their logic: "I have lots of things that connect with USB, so therefore they must make a USB cable that does (whatever stupid thing they want it to do). Nope, Nimrod, they don't.

USB A to A (Same connection on both ends) - There may actually be a valid use for this type cable, but I can't find anyone in this town who carries one, so I'm thinking probably not.

USB to Camera - They're all proprietary, idiot! Think about it; if you were in the camera business, wouldn't you make your cables different from all the rest so they'd have to buy your cable for their camera? Same thing with printer ink cartridges...NO...you can't use Dell ink in your Cannon printer.

Firewire to USB - Firewire 400 is rated at 400 Mb/s while USB can be as slow as 1.5 Mb/s. Why in the world would you want your data to speed out of your Firewire device just to bog down on your USB port?

eSATA to USB - Same as above. eSATA provides speeds of 3G/sec vs 1.5Mb/sec in USB.

HDMI to RG-6 w/ F-Connector - HDMI is High-Definition audio & video, RG-6 is Radio-frequency. Dis-similar is an understatement!

Power cords for printers - Too many in production to carry on our shelves, contact manufacturer.